


Addiction

by Ivory_and_Gold (Menage_gay_trois)



Category: Velvet Goldmine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Binge Drinking, Heavy Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, References to Addiction, References to Drugs, Unhealthy Relationships, but like only a Little divergent, might be abusive but I'm not really sure, or like a mention of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28970364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menage_gay_trois/pseuds/Ivory_and_Gold
Summary: Brian and Curt split after that fiasco in the studio, but Curt's a man with a history of dependence and addiction, and quitting's never been easy for him. He keeps coming back, always hoping it'll be the last time and he can move on, even as he watches Brian change into a shadow of the man he loved. Still loves, if he's honest with himself.Ft. an alternate ending to the Gimme Danger scene where Mandy isn't the one that shows up backstage.
Relationships: Brian Slade/Curt Wild
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Addiction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BanMaura](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BanMaura/gifts).



> Legit I have no idea what this is or if it makes sense to people who aren't in my head knowing the intricacies of this AU lol
> 
> Anyway have fun I guess it's so angsty I'm so sorry I PROMISE I love Curt and one day I'll write him being happy with Arthur but first I gotta get This out of my system

Curt always used to think of himself as dangerous, too fond of drugs and adrenaline and crazy stunts and the like.

He doesn’t realize until he’s out the door that fated night in the studio that he’s never been more wrong.

Brian.... _Brian_ is dangerous. With his pretty face and lovely words, he seems so harmless on the surface.

But...

Curt’s done a lot of drugs in his life, and never has he found one that gets him higher, never one so addictive as Brian Slade. He was hooked on him since the day they met (the night before didn’t count, Curt couldn’t even see straight, much less tumble headfirst into love, lust, and obsession), could feel withdrawal pricking at the edges of his veins before he’d even been gone a day.

He drinks himself to sleep the first three nights and still finds his dreams plagued by memories of full lips and sharp features and eyes too fucking blue to be human.

Curt startles awake all at once, sheets sticking to his sweat-damp skin. Need burns hot and heady in his veins, hardly dimmed by the half-bottle of whisky he'd downed before he passed out.

He's out of bed and shrugging on his jacket before he's even considered what his plan is.

Brian opens the door, obviously just roused from sleep by Curt's banging against it if the way he rubs his eyes and leans against the frame is anything to go by. "What do you want?"

Curt is on him in an instant, pushing him into the entryway and kicking the door shut behind him, lips on his with a hunger that surprises the both of them. But his heart does something stupid in his chest when Brian kisses him back and threads his fingers through Curt's messy hair, something he decides to ignore and push down because Brian is dangerous and addictive and this is just goodbye, one last time to get him out of his system. He pins Brian to the wall with a hand pressed beneath the hollow of his throat, eyes still shut as he catches his breath, too close and not close enough.

"I want you...to get out of my head." When Curt opens his eyes, he watches something self-satisfied flicker across those ethereal features, followed by the briefest flash of hurt, and then he's not face to face with Brian Slade anymore. He's looking at the carefully crafted persona that is Maxwell Demon, where Brian hides when he wants to avoid things like feelings. And he's reminded why he left in the first place, all at once, how sick he is of never knowing the man he was sleeping beside and screwing and making music with.

He wants to shatter the mask.

Wants to make him feel that raw, live-wire sensation Curt feels every time they touch.

Needs him to know what it's _like_.

~~~

His cheeks are still tear-streaked and flushed when he opens the door to his dressing room, locking it behind him.

Brian is leaning against the vanity, an immaculate god surrounded by Curt’s chaos and mess, and Curt is struck by warring urges.

He wants to wreck him, make him ugly and real and bring him down to Curt’s level, make him human and base so he’ll get off his high horse and maybe, just maybe, Curt won’t feel so alone anymore.

He wants to cling to his calm and his beauty like they are the raft that will save him from his own stormy heart, too many feelings curling in the space around his lungs that lead to shows like that, where he screams his throat raw while everyone cheers like it’s all fun and games.

Brian starts across the room towards him and opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, eyes flashing smug and self-satisfied and almost cruel, and instead is met with hands on his chest, shoving him back against the vanity as Curt steps into his space. "Shut up." He doesn’t respond but Curt can feel his smirk when he kisses him and it makes something painful twist in his chest.

Maxwell may have died on that stage, but that doesn’t mean Brian doesn’t have other masks to hide behind. This one doesn’t have a name yet, but it hurts him all the more for it. Brian, but not. But vicious and vindictive and looking for revenge for Curt having left him. And he supposes that’s why they keep meeting like this.

Curt is an addict, and more importantly, he’s punishing himself for hurting someone so radiant even if it meant saving himself, so he shows up and reminds himself what could have been if only he’d been willing to immolate himself for the star at the center of their universe.

Brian is here because he’s punishing Curt with _toomuchnotenough_ like the past, it’s just another power trip like all the other stunts he’s pulled, and Curt is so fucking easy to reel in because he’s always looking for another way to hurt himself.

Curt doesn’t know if the real Brian misses what they had but he’ll keep pretending that he does, if only to make the ache behind his ribs subside for a little while longer.


End file.
